sun________________________2008 JAN 27______ The reason I stopped blogging is because I don't need the attention anymore. My IT law professor did a quick poll in class to find out who knew that there's no anonymity on the internet. Everyone did. <i>"So whyyyy do you all you guys put yourself out there on your blogs and facebook?</i>, she cried in her Australian drawl. There was an uncomfortable silence as everyone shifted in their seats, their faces twitching in embarrassment. Because, we all want attention. There's a craving to be <i>that</i> popular kid. It's of course true that there are other reasons such that it is cathartic, it's an easier means of keeping in contact... but, it is undeniably so that we are all craving for attention. That's why you have people asking to be linked, that's why there are counters on blogs, and that's why people scream for comments to be posted whenever you visit. I would love to say that it's because I'm absolutely comfortable with who I am that I've ceased the need to blog, to "put myself out there" and let everyone know what I'm doing, who I am etc. Unlike most of my peers, I hardly put photos up on facebook (I know, the number of photos I have may signal otherwise) because I don't feel comfortable with people knowing where I went, who I was with, what I did, etc. The only people who need to know these are my friends, and as I said earlier, it'd be much preferred if we did it through a proper conversation. And so far I must say this has been working out. Confession time: I don't know where this blog post is going. Maybe it's just to answer the many queries on why I stopped blogging. It's really much more fun when you remain private. Perhaps it is partially due to my spending a good part of this week going through entries of mine from 1999. I must say some of them are really horrifically fascinatingly disgusting. 2008 marks the 10th year of my being in the blogosphere, and I'll commemorate it by going back underground, where hideous character revealing posts are left for my eyes only. Mmm yes, like that lor. Good bye. :) sun_________________________2007 NOV 18______ Radiohead - Nude Idaho - To Be the One New Order - Ceremony Anberlin - Dismantle.Repair Googoodolls - Iris Leigh Nash - Nervous in the light of Dawn Anberlin - Symphony of Blase Matt Wertz - Falling off the Face of the Earth Corrinne May - On the Side of Me Ari Hest - Come Home Timbaland - Apologize KT Tunstall - Under the Weather John Mayer - Stop this Train John Mayer - St Patrick's Day Death Cab for Cutie - Your Heart is an Empty Room Nada Surf - If You Leave Googoodolls - Better days Stacey Kent - You Are There 黄立行 - 彩虹的轨道 These, and running, dispel most emo-ness. I would die to be able to curl up to a good book, under my covers instead of being slouched over Evidence, Pers Prop or Financial Econs stuff. This sem has degenerated into a disgusting mess of naught. mon__________________________2007 OCT 22______ This time a 3000 word paper, the result of which not very satisfying, but the process of which was extremely gratifying. 7/7 days spent in school, each day on an average of 15 hours, every day scavaging off the vending machine, sometimes even finding treasures in the chute. Free food! Despite how torturous and sad my life sounds, being stuck in school for most of my life this sem, I'm actually secretly savouring each moment. Don't get me wrong. Unlike Sixn, I'm not masochistic. Pain is not my thing. I've been enjoying the companionship of various friends these few weeks of camping in school. Catching up with old friends, strengthening relationships of friends, making new friends. I read somewhere that people who socialise are more balanced people tend to be happier too, and I can't help but agree. Maybe it doesn't work for everyone, but it really is difficult to stay angry, emo or upset when you've got friends around. Especially so if your friends do silly crazy things like scolding the vending machine for not stocking her favourite food, and your friends drive all the way from home with food supplies to sustain you through the night, or when your friends roar in celebration when they finally break down the last bricks of your defence against a game of Bridge/Noggin/Scrabulous/Bogglific, and your friend bypasses school during her run just to cheer you on, and your friend buys you lunch so you can continue hiding in your hole, to ensure that no one will spot you and drag you out of your studydom. And there's the friends online who make you chortle and guffaw at your laptop like a crazy woman, resulting in people around you glaring at you upon realisation that you're not studying. All these little memories are tucked snugly in my heart and keeps it warm and blazing so even now at this lonely 4am when I'm home alone crawling through my paper, I still have the happy high I feel when I'm in school. Thanks friends (: You know who you are (: thurs________________________2007 SEPT 27_______ I need some time for a movie marathon, alone in a hugee theatre somewhere. fri________________________2007 SEPT 21__________ Guess the conversation topic: Lavan: “You girls can take it from both front and back!” Our conversation was about Law IV. Ven and I told Lavan we wanted to do lighting and stage design respectively, because we didn’t and can’t sing or act. The above comment was what he said in a really lame attempt to encourage us to be the actors. Amusing, nevertheless. :) Random Law Student has, overnight, become an unwitting star amongst the law3s, having become Kalyn's new object of affection. "He's so hot! He's so hot!" It is highly tempting to do a Barney from How I Met Your Mother: "Hi, have you met Kalyn?". But, I wouldn't want to be this poor dude, subjected to the weak thinly veiled peeks from random bunches of people, usually outside the glass walls of the canteen, and squeals everytime she passes him. The fluttering of her heart as her Hot Guy walks past, using people as decoy to walk past him etc. It's so reminiscent of the early teenage years. Must be nice to feel like that. mon________________________2007 SEPT 17__________ A face from the past plastered on Random Law Student's body. I am so certain the Big Guy up there is mocking me. As if having one of my biggest mistakes threatening to lurk around the corner is not enough, I've now got another walking reminder of yet another mistake. The four letter word couldn't be more apt. As a student, school is your life. Or at least, should be. But what do you do when school isn't your kind of life? When life give you lemons, make lemonade... right? So you try to deal with school by moulding it into your kind of life. if it still doesn't fit, what do you do? Option 1: You make life not about school. Option 2: Suck it up. Everyone is nice when you get to know them. Hence, everyone is actually nice. Therefore, if everyone is nice "when you get to know them", this evil culture which permeates law school, where does it come from? wed________________________2007 SEPT 12__________ Earthquake in Sumatra shook Singapore slightly, even rocking BTC a bit. A tsunami threatens, and because I don't want to be doing Personal Property tutorial when I die, I'm going on an overload of shows. Die doing something you love, right? Two 45 minutes episodes of Brothers and Sisters, and one 20 minute episode of That 70s Show. I think I'd die from the backlog of work, and my yet-to-be-started-due-in-three-weeks Research Paper before the tsunami. Great. sun_________________________2007 SEPT 09__________ Whoever coined the term lazy sundays is very clever clever. Monday blues must have come about because of lazy sundays. Too much work overload. hurrrrr Tomorrow starts another day of people watching. Girl with the long flowy green skirt. Boy with the almost shaven head who comes to school in the same attire two days in the same week. Girl who enjoys revealing her white bikini triangle tan on her boobs. Man with the everlasting battery. People around hardly notice such things and I'm pretty tired of pointing it out to them. I read somewhere that capricorns are dreamers. I'm not a horrorscope believer - hence calling them horror scopes- but I read somewhere that my type are dreamers. that's possibly the only thing that's right. sat__________________________2007 SEPT 08_________ You know your life is screwed up... When you spent saturday at home, surfing facebook and dreaming up stories for people you don't know. You don't like facebook. thurs__________________________2007 AUGUST 22_______ The image of grotesque: tiny gaping mouths dotting the muscles on my upper back, screeching "save me save me!" Every day fatigue cajoles little silvers of my soul. Has it really only been a week and a half? wed__________________________2007 AUGUST 20_______ The 2nd week of school and there's no blanket on the tv serials, random websites or whatsoever. The brain feels lazy, and does not want to start thinking. But the starting point of reinvention is the brain. Tis a long year a head. for the ill-informed_________________________________ rising 4th nus lawschool flunkdergrad has a no-so-secret indulgence of emails, voyeurism through a camera lens, and random weird statements. has kept a blog since 1998, been at ta.upok.net since 2000, and still resides here, much thanks to Kwanie, whom she really needs to talk to more often. is more reclusive than appearances dictate, and doesn't believe that anyone who visits this site will need to contact her. if ever necessary, a google search of her name should suffice. for itchy mouths, there's always a comments page - just click on the little link (possibly the only link) below.
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